Implant/Explant Journey by SunnyVLT I was 24 years old and working for a plastic surgeon in 1981. It was such a fun job. Little did I know what a big part it would play in my future. I was a 34B, not flat, just proportioned for my 5'2" frame. I don't think I would have sought out and paid for breast implants, but I got caught up in the whole plastic surgery thing. The doctor kept urging me to get it done, even offering if for "free". Every girl in the office had them, and they also encouraged me to have the surgery. . Finally, after 8 months, I decided to do it. My boyfriend (at the time) thought I was crazy. Even my old high school boyfriend heard about it and called me the night before surgery to try to talk me out of it. I should have listened to them. I remember trying to get up from the table right as the anesthetist was starting the IV. The next thing I knew, I woke up in the recovery room in horrible pain and very nauseated. I don't remember much about the recovery because it has been 21 years, but it was fairly uneventful. I was thrilled with my new boobs. It was such a novelty back then, not like now where everywhere you look, you see implants. I was told by Dr. P. that there were virtually no risks, other than capsular contracture. They would last a lifetime, and could only be ruptured by a severe blow to the chest. I do remember keeping a silicone implant in my desk drawer to show new patients, it would leave an oily film on my desk. I never gave it much thought. Mine were silicone 180cc, overs, made by McGhan. I had such a good result that the P/S used me as his model to show perspective patients. I showed off my new boobies happily. I was a pretty confident girl before, but now I was more so. We are so different in our twenties than we are later in life. (I'm 46 now) My first problems started in 1983, 2 years later, after having a baby. He was 3 months premature and weighed only 2 pounds. (He's fine, 19 years old now) After breastfeeding for just a few months, my breasts became very hard. I was no longer working for the plastic surgeon but remained in touch with him. He had me come in and he squeezed my breast so hard I kicked him. It became immediately soft. Over the next few years, I had this wonderful little procedure done 2 more times. Unbelievable pain! He tried to talk me into replacing the old implants with a "great new kind that won't get hard". Turns out those are the worst kind of all, the ones with the polyutherene coating. I had no intention of having another surgery. At that time the hardness didn't really bother me that much. Since getting implants, I have had numerous minor health problems that have basically come and gone, and not really been diagnosed correctly. Extreme pain in my back , neck and shoulders. Strong men couldn't believe how hard they could rub my back without me flinching. I constantly wanted a massage. I had breathing problems intermittently over the years but never related it to my implants. Symptoms never stayed and didn't disrupt my life enough to be worried yet. Then, in 1994, I started reading about the dangers of silicone and the class action lawsuit. I was shocked at how many symptoms I had. I went to a neurologist and a plastic surgeon that were very involved in the lawsuit.. The medical reports made me sound like a very ill person. They advised me to remove the implants immediately. I didn't want to believe any of this, I was in total denial. However, I was scared, so I had an M.R.I. It showed no leaks or ruptures in my implants. Most doctors told me not to have surgery to remove them, that they were perfectly safe, and it was just a big, blown out of proportion lawsuit started by a bunch of crazy, money hungry women. This is what I wanted to believe, so I chose to ignore my symptoms. My husband wanted me to get the explant, but I just wasn't mentally prepared yet. Perhaps if I had access to Explantation.com back then things would have been different.I had no one to talk to that understood, except the women at a support group I found. They were all so militant and angry, I just couldn't relate to them. Over the next few years, I asked so many doctors if my symptoms could be related to the implants. They all assured me they were perfectly safe and had nothing to do with my problems. I was diagnosed with asthma, although inhalers didn't help. Back pain, allergies, pneumonia, rashes, short term memory loss, chest pain, heart palpitations, etc. None of these things were too severe or lasted too long until last year, 2002. In April, 2002, I had a mammogram. The right side was extremely painful and just didn't feel right. I had to tell her to stop, I thought for sure she was going to rupture the implant. A few weeks later I became so ill, I ended up in the E.R. two times in one week-end thinking I was having a heart attack. I couldn't breathe, my heart was racing, my chest felt ice cold, inside and out. They checked my heart, nothing wrong, sent me home with Zanax, saying I had a panic attack. Two days later, it happened again. Same thing, they said it was anxiety. I didn't feel particularly anxious about anything, but my family and friends said I was under a lot of stress and talked me into going to a Psychologist. She wanted to talk about my parents divorce 30 years ago. What a joke! I felt like I was having a nervous breakdown. I couldn't drive, was afraid to be alone. None of this is like me. I am typically a very strong person, the one that holds the family together, run my own business, very independent, etc. I had a reaction to the antidepressants, threw up for about 6 weeks, lost 20 pounds. They took out my gall bladder, that didn't help. Now I know I probably didn't need to do that, but I was so desperate to feel better, that I just did what they said. I had so many medical tests, I really gained a new perspective on our medical world that I am sad to say is not very positive. I kept insisting that maybe it could be from my implants, but was always ignored. My hair was falling out in handfuls. I was so frightened. Every time I turned around, it was something new. I even had an allergic reaction to the contrast dye used in a CAT scan. I felt like such a burden to my husband and son. They were so great to me, but I know they were scared too. I barely made it to my sons high school graduation, I was so sick. I went to an Acupuncturist, and she is the only one that actually did something to make me feel better. I went off all the medications on my own, except for the Zanax. I had come to depend on them, but only 1 a day. She put me on some herbs to help the anxiety. I finally insisted on another M.R.I of my breast implants. It did indeed show a possible rupture on the right side. I spoke at great length with the Radiologist, Dr. Michael Middleton at U.C.S.D. He is wonderful and was so helpful. He has done extensive research and follow-up of women with breast implants. He knows they make women sick and is not afraid to say so. By this time, I had found Explantation.com, which has been such a source of information and support. I was getting more and more sure that all my problems were implant related, and that the mammogram must have ruptured my right implant, sending silicone into my system, making me sick. No one will ever convince me otherwise. Now starts the search for the Explant Doctor. What a fiasco. I went to 6 consultations from San Diego to Beverly Hills. I was told different things from all of them. Of course, I got the standard warning, "You will be deformed if you don't replace the implants". "No need to remove the scar tissue", "Yes, we remove the scar tissue", "You will need a lift", "You won't need a lift." UNBELIEVABLE! I was so confused, but had narrowed it down to 2 doctors. I really was tempted to go to Dr. Feng, but I was so sick, I just couldn't imagine traveling. I chose Dr. Marek Dobke with U.C.S.D in San Diego. He said that I didn't need implants, had good breast tissue and didn't think I would need the lift. I basically went on gut instinct, which I think is usually right. He had a former patient call me, which really helped. I scheduled surgery for January 2, 2003, and had 2 months to wait. The waiting period was extremely hard, the anxiety and fear just had too much time to build. Turns out that was much worse than the surgery. The hard part about this surgery is the unknown about how we will look, because even the best surgeon can't always predict the outcome. Of course, there are the usual fears of any surgery, but the unknown outcome is very stressful. Finally, the day is here. I am pretty ready mentally. Get up at 5:30 to be at the hospital by 6:30. The hospital, U.C.S.D. Thornton, is beautiful, looks like a luxury hotel. My husband , son, sister, mother and step-father all went with me. I am very lucky to have such a supportive family. I don't know how women go through this alone. I change into a gown and get on a table in a small room. They let my husband stay with me. The girl comes in to start the I.V., says she does 30 a day. My veins collapse twice. Uh oh, this is not a good start. Finally, she gets it going. This is a teaching hospital, so I have a whole team. The doctors come in and recap what they are going to do. I stress again to him how important it is to me that he do "En-Bloc", even if it means making my original incision larger. I learned during all this research, that with a lift, the vertical incision makes it much easier for the surgeon to get the implant and scar tissue out together. I wasn't having a lift, so I wanted him to know that I don't care about a bigger scar. That's a hard concept for a plastic surgeon. The next thing I know I am waking up in recovery, a little nauseated and dizzy, but not as bad as previous surgeries I've had. The nurse said they used a lot of anti-nausea drugs in my I.V. My chest is bound very tight, but is not too painful. They had me out and on my way home by noon! I took Vicodin, but it makes my heart pound, so I switched to Tylenol the second day. I slept most of the first and second day. The drains were the worst part. I had them in for 5 days. My wonderful husband emptied the drains and measured the output. I had taken Arnica and Bromelain and virtually had no swelling or bruising. The surgery and recovery was so much easier than I had expected. My gall bladder surgery 6 months prior was much worse. It is now 5 months post-op. I feel great! Most of my symptoms are gone. The back and neck pain I had for years is much, much less. The breathing problem, which was the worst thing , is 80% better. I have more energy. I have no anxiety, totally off the Zanax. I started working out, which I haven't had the energy to do for years. I am trying to detox with herbs and supplements and diet. I saw my Acupuncturist a couple of weeks after surgery. She was shocked at the change in my tongue. Chinese medicine uses the tongue as a gauge to illness in the body. Before explant my tongue was white, which is a sign of blockage in your system. Three days after removing the implants, I looked in the mirror, and my tongue was completely pink again! As for the cosmetic aspect, I look good. Everyone says I look thinner. I am a 36B or C, depending on the bra, definitely not flat. My right side is a little indented, but it gets better every day. I am glad I didn't get the lift, I don't sag at all, which is pretty amazing after 21 years of implants, and at age 46. It feels so good to hug people and not have those hard rocks in the way. Sleeping on my stomach is a luxury that I had been unable to do for years. I AM SO HAPPY I DID THIS. NO ONE WILL EVER CONVINCE ME THAT SILICONE DOES NOT MAKE SOME WOMEN SICK. IT DEFINITELY MADE ME SICK AND NOW I FEEL GOOD AGAIN. IT CAN'T BE A COINCIDENCE. I appreciate life more now. I remember how sick I was this time last year, and I think God for leading me to this site and to this decision. It is the best thing I ever did for myself. Thank you Rose, Jeena, Traci, Lana, and everyone else that supported me here. If I can help anyone that is going through this, please feel free to e-mail me at Sunnyvlt@aol.com PHOTOS COMING SOON!