Why I just had to have them My implant and explant story by: Terri When I look back on the issue now, I only think how foolish I was. I just had to have them. I was obsessed with having bigger breasts. My natural breasts were not only very small, but cone shaped as well. I looked in the mirror only to pity myself everytime I did. Funny thing is that I was the only one who felt this way. My friends and also my family and husband did not mind my small unshapely breasts. That didn't matter, for I did. I remember saving my money relentlessly for 6 months, even going as far as to get a Visa card to pay for the portion I could not cover with the cash I had saved for the augmentation. On June 9th of 1988, I underwent the surgery to enlarge my breasts. Everything went as planned and I went home with swollen, but the most beautiful breasts I had ever seen. Yep, I was now the proud owner of an extra 250cc Mentor Silicone Implant under each breast.....that would last me my lifetime(so i was told). I healed and lived with my new and improved breasts for 16 years, enjoying the way they looked, but they never felt as if they were mine. In Febuary of 2003, I noticed my right breast started getting hard on the upper left quarter. As months went by, the area expanded and became even harder. On a routiune visit to my regular doctor, I mentioned thism and she wanted to examine it. She said she was not a breast doctor and didn't know all that much about breast implants, but wanted me to make an appointment with the plastic surgeon who iImplanted me or another one of my choice. But before doing, that she wanted me to have my ,mammogram. Upon going for that, I was referred to the Breast Center for more extensive study Mammogram and an ultrasound. At that appointment, the radiologist stated that there was no leakage beyond the capsules. The following day, I made an appointment to see the surgeon who I had gone to 16 years ago. In that appointment, I discovered that I had capsular contraction grade II/III. How could this be after 16 years of living with what I thought were perfect breasts? I learned alot in this lesson. The biggest lesson was perhaps that I knew in my heart and soul that something was wrong, and this was my body's way of telling me so. The P/S said that I could do one of three things. 1. Reimplant with some reconstruction to the right breast, 2. Explant altogether (which He did not recommend) 3. or live with them the way they were. I left His office thinking that it wasn't that bad and not that noticable, so I would just live with them the way they were. After a month, I noticed it had gotten much worse and I started feeling pain and burning along the chest wall. I knew at this point that something was terribly wrong inside my chest. I made a second appointment to see my P/S. At this appointment, we discovered that the grade of CC had increased to IV. I knew at this point that the implants had to come out. I worked very hard to obtain insurance coverage for the surgery and won on an appeal. I know now that I could not have afforded it otherwise. I chose not to have a lift of any kind, as I did not really have enough breast tissue to do so anyways. On December 2, 2003, I underwent explantation surgery. I was concerned about the outcome of my breasts. Would they be deformed? How would I feel about myself afterwards? I remember the first time I had the chance to see my new self. It was two days after the surgery when my P/S removed the bandage that was wrapped tightly around my chest. I was laying down and I remember looking downward and seeing a flat chest. I said, "Boy, they are really flat, aren't they?" The doctor helped me to a sitting position and I could see them in the mirror in front of me. My oldest daughter was with me and we just looked at each other and smiled. What an impressive site it was! The breasts that were once hard and painful were now small, but nevertheless perky and a nicely, rounded, shape! I delighted in the shape of them. They were a lot nicer than before my breast augmentation. Terri with implants Terri since explantation Recent Update My P/S had gotten the pathology report back and it confirmed that the right implant had been ruptured for quite some time (but contained within the capsule) and the left implant was seeping/bleeding silicone into the capsule. To be quite honest about this lesson, through all the pain and suffering I have endured, I probably ended up with the perfect breasts I wanted in the first place! And I delight in this everyday that I can live with the outcome of this lesson well learned! If anyone would like to email me directly my email addy is: mrsww3@msn.com I would like to take this time to thank all of the women who have worked so hard to put together this site. It has been a rock for me to stand on and come to when the water got too high! Best, Terri