My Story by Gena I sit here and write this in hopes of helping others make that same hard decision that so many of us have faced, removing implants. And to help others considering them to truly search within themselves for something so much more. I do want to say that this site has helped me tremendously and I admire the courage that all of these women have. It gave me the strength that I needed to move forward in my life. My quest for breast implants started at about the age of 24. I was married to another man at the time and he would make comments about women with larger breasts so I began to feel inadequate with what I had. We ended up divorced and I started to research implants back in 1991 but never went through with it. I started feeling as if my body didn't match. I felt my hips were too wide, my stomach not flat enough, and my boobs too flat. I was about 105 at that point in my life. I met and married my wonderful and supportive husband in 1997 and life went on as usual. When I was 35 years old and had my babies, my youngest was six months, I decided to do this. At the time I was working as a personal trainer in a gym and was surrounded by women who had implants and who were getting implants. I became obsessed with having larger breasts. I did research but most of it was on the pro BA sites. I did find one article about black saline implants but saw nothing else on it so I thought it was ‘bogus' and continued my journey down the wrong path. I knew some of the risks and tried to decide if this is truly what I wanted. I was never 100% sure but on May 11, 2001 I became the ‘proud' owner of 375/filled 425 mentor, smooth saline implants. I was a small 34B and went to a very full 36C (even small D). Gena with her implants. I use the term proud loosely because once I had them I felt like I looked fat. I'm 5'5 and 120 lbs and small boned. I constantly had mixed emotions. I initially noticed my right breast seemed higher also, and I thought it was swelling. It was always one to two finger widths higher than my left and my nipple pointed out and down, which bothered me. I constantly had to adjust my cleavage by tightening my left bra strap tighter. I also had to adjust my nipples so I would have one pointing north and the other south. I had the normal pain that so many of us go through for this surgery but my right pectoral muscle continued to give me constant pain. This was somewhat disheartening because I've very physically fit and it affected my workout routine. By July 2001 I had a shoulder/bicep injury. This injury did not become severe until January 2002. We are military so I had a tough time with the doctors. I explained that I had implants and the pain I had in my pectoral muscle since implanting and felt that it was all related to the implants. They all told me no. So I had to go through months and months of physical therapy and continual pain in my pectoral muscle, shoulder and bicep (all right side). Then in April 2002 I started getting a rash on my legs which continues today and I'm hoping will go away. In August 2002 I went to the military plastic surgeon. He told me that he was almost 100% sure that my pectoral pain and shoulder problems were not related to the implants and advised against taking them out because he had found that most women were very unhappy when they did. In November 2002 I had shoulder surgery for a bicep tendon tear, bursitis and fraying of the shoulder joint. At this point I had taken off acrylic nails and had a yeast infection in my nails. Once that was under control I got hand eczema on my fingers which I've been battling. I also get a rash on my face off and on. The rashes continued but my pectoral muscle pain seemed to subside. Then I started to become extremely tired. I would tell my husband he said that I always was tired (being a mom of two young boys). But this was extreme. It was like I never slept, never felt refreshed, felt bone weary. Then I discovered a lump in my neck and ended up having a tumor in my parotid gland and had to undergo more surgery in March 2003 (I do not believe this is related to the implants though). After this surgery I started to exercise more again only using 2-3 lb weights trying to rehabilitate my shoulder. My pectoral muscle pain started to become severe again. My fatigue started getting worse. I was feeling sick constantly. I'd get up in the morning feeling like I had a hangover. Or sometimes it would be like morning sickness so I took several pregnancy tests just to make sure I wasn't pregnant. I had actually started to consider removing my implants around February or March 2003 because of the self-esteem issues of feeling heavier. But once the pectoral and shoulder pain returned I knew I needed to remove them. It was time. So I started researching. I found this site and it was heaven sent I believe. I went to my PS and within one week was scheduled for explantation. So many here gave me the strength and courage to go forward along with prayer and support of my husband. I explanted on July 10th, 2003. I opted to wait on lift, if I even decided to get one later. Because I really had no desire for more surgery. I was bound very tight for four days. Today, July 14th I was unbound and I'm BEAUTIFUL. I truly mean that. Gena explanted without a "lift" Gena explanted right side Gena explanted left side Gena's 6 month update photo I feel released from my own personal prison that I created. Self Esteem is part of my prison. Yes, I probably will struggle with self esteem as I always have but having plastic surgery doesn't fix what you see and this experience has taught me so much about that. Second, I'm free of large breasts that I never liked. Free from the pressure. I feel lighter physically and spiritually. As for my pectoral pain, so far I don't feel it. Time will tell if that will go away. I was told there is a chance it will not. For now I'm taking it easy. I pray that my rashes go away and that my tiredness will pass also. I wish that I could express how elated I feel. It's something new in me. I feel that I've grown so much with this experience. It's a high price but sometimes, unfortunately, that is what it takes. I've learned that we are beautiful for who we are and what God has given us. Beauty isn't about larger breasts, smoother skin, etc. I'm so blessed to have my children and my husband. And I'm thankful that I did this before I reached a level that so many women reach before moving forward. Thank you for this site and being here to support all of us that have and are going through this experience.